


pandemonium revisited

by fnowae



Category: Adam Ruins Everything, Fall Out Boy
Genre: CUTE TM, Humor, M/M, i should hope, warning: contains Fuckery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 16:52:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17584643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fnowae/pseuds/fnowae
Summary: Listen. This is what you get for dating the ruining guy.





	pandemonium revisited

**Author's Note:**

> No, you don't get an explanation.

"Okay, wait, back up." Pete looks absolutely fucking shocked. His face is screwed up all weird and his eyes are wider than you'd think would be possible. "Back the hell up, you're dating the _ruining guy_?"

"Well, I wouldn't call him _that_ ," Patrick mutters in response. "He doesn't do that...much...in real life." Adam makes a huffing sound, and Patrick emphasizes, "I said _not much_."

"Dude." Joe is apparently adding on to this crap now, and rather than being shocked as Pete is, he just looks amused. "Dude, really though, I watched the guy's show _once_ and now I'm terrified of restaurants." 

"Actually-" Adam begins to pipe up, but when Patrick sighs and holds out a hand, he cuts himself off and hands over a quarter. 

"I'm going to be rich," Patrick informs his band. 

"You already are," Pete says. 

Patrick is silent. 

"But really," Joe begins, "Of all the people you could've chosen to smash, as a millionaire rock star with a _rockin' bod_ , you chose the _rui_ -"

"Okay, stop that." Andy has finally joined the conversation, and thankfully, he's handling it better than everyone else. "Don't call him that. He's a perfectly normal person for Patrick to choose to date. We shouldn't be commenting on Patrick's relationships, anyways." Patrick breathes out a sigh of relief. Finally someone is making some sense. " _However_ -" (or not) "-Patrick, how long have you and Adam been together?"

Patrick cringes, and of course, Adam picks up and fills in the silence. 

"Six months!" he says cheerfully. "Well, almost. Our anniversary is in four days!"

Patrick grimaces and looks over his shoulder at his boyfriend, who just shrugs in response. 

"He _asked_."

"Interesting." Andy frowns. "Six months, and you didn't tell us, _why_ , exactly."

Patrick's eyes are looking everywhere but at his bandmates. "Uh, I don't know? You didn't ask? And I thought you guys would make fun of him, _exactly like you are now_."

"Uh, babe? I thought it was because you weren't out," Adam pipes up, confused. 

"What?" Pete actually laughs. "Dude, he's my _ex_. From like twelve years ago, don't worry about it, but yeah, we know."

Adam's eyes flick immediately to Patrick. " _Patrick_ -"

"Wait. Wait wait wait." Joe, who had previously appeared to be in deep thought, interrupts what was looking to e a _bad_ situation. "Six months ago four days from now? Dude, I remember that night! You disappeared after that night's show and then we didn't see you 'til morning! Oh my god, did you guys _fuck_?"

"I-" Patrick groans, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I don't know how to explain to you that me and my boyfriend of six months have, in fact, fucked. But no, not that night. I ran into him after the show because he wanted to tell me how good it was, we hit it off, and went out for burgers. That is all that happened." He slowly turns his gaze to Adam like he's taking a precaution, but it's too late.

"Well," Adam says, smirking like he knows exactly what he's doing, "We _did_ make out in your hotel room."

" _Not the time_ ," Patrick grits out between clamped teeth, but it doesn't stop Adam in the least.

"Is that because they just caught us making out in your bunk?" Adam asks, and now Patrick _knows_ he's fucking around.

"Yes, _Conover_ ," he says, which is only something he pulls out when he's _really_ annoyed. "Yes, that's why."

Pete and Joe have taken to snickering. Andy even looks amused. 

"Listen," Andy says, smiling legitimately, finally, "We'll support you no matter what, Patrick. We're happy to hear you're in a good relationship, and that you're happy. You and Adam seem to make a great couple. Just, next time you get into a relationship, maybe tell us sooner than six months in?"

"I'm not planning on getting into another relationship," Patrick blurts out, then goes bright red. "Hey, no, wait a second-"

"Aw, _honey_ ," Adam responds in a faux-sappy tone. "That would be so romantic if it wasn't statistically likely that you won't feel the same in a few years."

Patrick groans loudly, screwing his eyes shut and leaning back, turning his face to the sky/roof of the bus as if he's praying to a dead god to be saved from his spot on this chair and this bus and this band. 

"Hey," Pete responds, grinning in a way that can only mean he's about to say something really, really stupid.

"That's what you get for dating the ruining guy."

**Author's Note:**

> would y'all want me to post more of this or am I just absolutely insane 
> 
> (Hint: either way I WILL post more. sorry)


End file.
